"Oh now I think it's so nice that you're going to take care of the puppies," says the woman, "Why, I used to have a golden retriever when I was little and I just loved i--"
"Ma'am," I say through a bite of my sandwich, "AT&T can offer you free weekends on all calls to the US and Ca--"
"--t so! And it used to bring in the newspaper and fetch sticks. Oh, but then it got run over by a car. That was quite sad, yes."
"--nada. Which, is much better than Sprint MCI."
"Oh, is it better than AT&T, honey? Because that�s what I use, you see" she says.
"We are AT&T, ma'am," I reply. I watch as the cards burst all over the screen, and restart my game.
"Oh, well, you people do quite a good job with my phone bills. You see, Sprint MCI--"
"Yes, I know all about Sprint MCI, ma�am."
"Oh, good, well then you'd know that they're a very reliable service. I use them, you know."
"I thought you used AT&T?"
"Would you like some cookies?"
"Have a good day ma'am, and thank you for choosing AT&T."
"Oh is that what I use? Well you people are quite the wonderful service! Drop by for Christmas sometime! My address is 207 Spickard Street in Alb--"
I hang up the phone.
"Another crazy one?" asks Bob from beyond the wall. "Holy shit dude! Come over here and look at the size of this one's tits! They�re fucking huge!"
"Jesus Bob, you're at work, why don't you shut that thing up and make some calls."
"I did, man, don't be so uptight!" replies Bob, "And I have a date tonight with some chick named Brenda. Pretty sweet, huh? I heard the porn in the background. Dude, I bet it was lesbo porn too!"
"In that case, it's probably some transvestite with a dick the size of a telephone pole."
"Don�t care, man, don't care. Try to rain on my parade all you want. If this chick turns out to be a dude, I'll just do him up the ass."
I wrinkle my nose.
"Jesus, you're fucked up."